​The end of October in Austria into November has a couple of shorter weeks thanks to public holidays. This is a time when Viennese scatter to holiday spots and take quick get away's. For me, it is a nice time to sleep in! Taking on Randi Zuckerberg's advice (see my post titled the Power of Three) I am now allowing myself to choose sleep a bit more by both going to bed earlier and once a week sleeping in a bit more. And let me say, it feels nice. This level of self care and respect is lovely. We need to do it more. A Toastmasters friend of mine once said she takes herself on a date each week. Nothing gets in the way of this for her.

In our fast paced world, what else could we do to promote self-care and take a rest?

• Sit on a park bench (I see this a lot in our local park)
• Have a cup of tea and stop
• Bike ride with no direction in mind
• Take a walk and let the dog lead
• Take a day of technology
• Do some gardening

All of these activities while still active, allow us to come to terms with ourselves, to see we are just here in space and that we have simply today. Tomorrow is a memory and the future is not yet formed, so we need to just be in the moment. It is easy to say and harder to do. I know this for myself as I try to cram in more activity and achieve things on a list. For what? I don't have to always do so many things and want to incorporate this rest into my life.

​Pick Three, a book by Randi Zuckerberg, talks about the power of simply picking three things to focus on in a day. Being a little lopsided. Her areas of Three you could concentrate your day on are:

• Sleep
• Work
• Family
• Fitness
• Friends

These could be three things you focus on for a year, for a month or for a day. The power is in not trying to have it all at once, but achieving it all over a longer period.

It is sound advice and something I have been thinking about since I started the book. It honestly gives me more permission to 'Sleep' for instance. This is an area which we are losing ground on and as we try to fit more into our days, we are not achieving the rest we should. We are all guilty of this at some point in our lives. We have burned the midnight oil, the candle at both ends and might actually be shortening our lives.

Technology keeps us awake, we strive to do more in less time when really, we need to simply pick three. Take three things that are important and strive for those in a day. To nourish these parts of our lives. Randi suggests that every morning we pick our three and truly focus our energies and daily life there. I have enjoyed her book so far and would recommend it.

For me, picking three allows me to:

1. Feel more calm in my day, as I know tomorrow could bring focus on other aspects.
2. Give myself permission. This morning I slept in for 20 more minutes.
3. Realise that I can achieve more than I think, over time. I don't have to get it all done today.
4. Create a sense of balance. Things come and go in waves.

So, pick three from the list above, or develop your own list. Randi is by no means the list authority, but her 5 really sum up most of the things we aim for in our lives. Try it out and let me know what you think.

When you plan a goal or plan for your growth, how do you do it? Is it like a meditation, you reflect and take time for yourself or does it come like a flash in an instant, something you know you must do? Either way it is important I guess to have these moments, in order to really see and design a way forward for yourself. As John Maxwell says, growth is not automatic and we need to be deliberate in our choices.

Where and how should we grow though? Sometimes the best advice comes from the feedback from others and I am always encouraged by this as it gives me a chance to assess how others see me. Am I living up to expectations and where can I go from here? It is also important to not be solely taking in the points of others but to also find your own point of view. What do you want to change in your life? Which aspects of your character do you want to develop and find opportunities to express?

This is true especially of the people I train and develop as speakers. Sometimes the strongest advice I can give is for them to find out what makes them interesting. We cannot please everyone, but we will please someone. Who are they and what value do they see in us? Is it in informational speeches, motivational speeches or funny stand-up comedy speeches? We cannot play everything but need to narrow into something and this can help us find a way forward.

In my own life, I have often had anxiety and stress when I have not been able to clearly see a way forward. Like the end result, the change in my development, seeing where I have come from. While this is not always essential, when I can see myself doing these activities, then it makes it easier. Dr. Joe Dispenza says that when we can really visualise this with a strong emotional connection, already playing out what the scenario will feel like, then the whole situation has a better chance of manifesting. When I think back over my life so far, this is really true. My strongest moments have played out like a de-ja-vu. Perhaps this is really what de-ja-vu is, a playing out of something your brain has already experienced. When it happens this makes it stronger. Our second time real time experience is all the more important because we have been through it already.

So how can you help yourself in this way? What can you do on a daily basis?
For me, I would visualise and practice the small things. I have been experimenting with visualising my day before I get out of bed. Really seeing things going well. Meeting people, having experiences and things running smoothly. When I am in the car or on the bus, likewise I picture green lights and easy traffic. Some days this is impossible but I can try. Meetings, seminars, workshops, clients, I can visualise it all. The effect on my character and person is a strong point. I feel empowered that I am the creator of my environment to an extent rather than being a victim to it. This difference is clue to being a stronger person, making better decisions and moving forward. It is our decision making that leads up forward. We are always about decisions. Some people decide to wear the same clothing everyday to avoid decisions. Why not just spend a few minutes planning at the start of the day and get on with it.

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields

And until we meet again, until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand
And until we meet again, until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand

May the sun make your days bright
May the stars illuminate your nights
May the flowers bloom along your path
Your house stand firm against the storm

And until we meet again, until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand
And until we meet again, until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand

These beautiful words when sung absolutely fill me with immense sorrow and joy. Longing and happiness. I got to sing them over the weekend in a choir from Innsbruck I was lucky to sing with. This song appeared around the dinner table where we had all shared a meal with the group. We all sang and the spirit in the room was amazing. Not for the singing, but for the sense of the words that filled my heart. Even now when I think of these words with no one in particular in my mind, my eyes water. They are simply beautiful. It is pleasure to have them in my life.

Summer is now over in Vienna and it is time to see Autumn arrive. So what does this change of season mean for us and our personal development? For me, it is time when I focus again on my growth plan and to see where I would like things to go. This year, September also felt like January used to feel like in Australia. A time of renewal and focus, the returning of school for my kids and work for my wife, but it felt different. The seasons often reflect our focus and I am sure change how we approach life.

We all have seasons within our life. We have winters, springs, summers  and falls (Autumns, but the song was running through my head!) and all we have to do is call. Perhaps we need to call a friend, to ask for help and to offer help when asked. We need to know people have our backs and it is temporary. We never really know what is going on for others and neither they for us, but we are all in a season. A time of plenty or a time of perceived famine. Perhaps things aren't going right or they feel great. These seasons come and go, like chapters of a book. Of course we don't always get to write all the content of the chapters and be the main players, but we are involved somehow. How we react, cope and move on, all change how long are seasons are.
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When we know there are seasons we can prepare for them and this is psychologically helpful. When we see others in different seasons we need to accept them for where they are, offer them friendship and a hand and see what happens. Let them be where they need to be and learn the lessons they need to learn from that season. This are lessons here. Let the seasons be. We cannot always control them. But we can cope and know that another season is around the corner.

John Maxwell talks about the idea of a personal growth plan in his book 'The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth'. He says goals are not important, growth is. And you need a plan. A roadmap, a guide, an idea of where you want to go. So where do you want to go?

I think most of us are lost when we asking this question of ourselves. He challenges readers of the book to think harder on this topic than any other. It informs the rest of our goals, behaviours and activities. He describe the plan as what do you want to develop in your character? What kind of person do you want to be? It is indeed powerful.

I always focused in my 20'S and 30's on goals. I wanted to sing certain roles and eventually was in a nice position where I got to sing these roles. I remained focused and then to Vienna where a shift occurred. I started to look at my life outside of singing and what did I want to do? Where could I serve the community? I believe meeting my Mentor when I did has helped me to find, through John's book an answer to this question. I aim to grow as a person now, not a goal orientated achiever. To develop my character and then to inspire others to do the same. This shift has meant that when I sing I still enjoy it, but I am not out to conquer the world or achieve certain things. My whole life has been redefined.

I am still hazy on my growth plan, but have seen how I have grown in character in the past few years. Or at least been more conscious of it. Living in another country and starting somewhat at the bottom again has been a humbling experience. My circle of friends and influence has had to grow again and I have taken some time to explore my person and who I want and need to be. For myself. Not for the expectations of extended family but for me. I can grow and develop how I need to and this is the momentum I need to generate.

John Maxwell says this plan needs constant change and development and to reflect where we are in life. He has been working on his plan for over 40 years he says. So the plan is something that changes and develops as we go along. This is encouraging for me, as perhaps I will never complete my plan, but find continual ways to grow.

Believe it or not, other people rub off on us. Both in good ways and in bad. When we were growing up our parents would say, be careful about hanging around with that kid, or I don't like that girl you are with and to most of us this advice fell on deaf ears until we ultimately broke up with that girl or that friend was no longer our friend. Certainly as adults, we are surrounded by many people, and we need to be careful about our influences.

So, who are the 5 main people around you? These people should support you as well as challenge you on the way to you being a better version of yourself. This year I have really changed who my 5 are and it has been a good exercise. Mentors have come and gone and I am grateful that I have met someone who truly interesting and interested in me. We have come together at the right time and I feel open to his learning. He has introduced me to John Maxwell and his teachings and I am open and grateful for this opportunity.

Whoever your five people are, and perhaps if you are on another persons five list, we need to take this responsibility seriously. To practice what we preach, remain open and teachable and to find ways to connect regularly with our people. Many of us are becoming increasingly isolated, with home based offices, flexible working hours, juggling more activities and to do's and so we perhaps don't make time for our 5 as we should. Knowing our five is important and developing these relationships, giving more value than we receive and seeing how this benefits our life. My five really give me something different and from each I am grateful for their teaching.

Do you like to travel? If so, where do you travel to? Do you stay within your country or region or do you like to go abroad and expand your horizons? Do you travel for work or for pleasure? These factors all affect how we feel about travel and what happens to our minds to expand our sense of self. I think travel is a fantastic way to expand our sense of self and also to see how other people live. Often we get caught up with our lives and wanting and doing certain things, so seeing how others live can show us alternatives, perhaps to see our lives are better than we thought they are and to perhaps relax and take it easy. To not put so pressure on ourselves. To appreciate what we do. To appreciate in life the things we have.

So where do you travel? Sometimes we can travel abroad, but also within ourselves. Many of us don't know our destination so we just travel along. Is this the best way to be? I don't think so. We need to constantly expand our horizons, try new things and move forward in a way that allows us to become more complete and whole (if we can ever be so). Travel both inside and out can help us here. Exploring our inner world, travelling to the dark recesses of our conscious and perhaps exploring our fundamental tapes with the help of a trained professional might be an interesting exercise. Not forever, but for a while. Long enough to realise that we are all on a journey, a little floored and just doing our best.

Travel both in a out has helped me to expand my world view, see others with empathy and not be so targeted and goal driven. I am slowly learning to let be what will be and not be so driven towards material success and things, as I know they are only that. It is about making more of a difference in others ways now that is important. Travel keeps it real and helps me in this understanding. 

This week I have become more interested in cultural Intelligence and how it effects all that we do. We are all usually born into a culture that for many is mixed. In Australia it was common to have friends whose parents or grandparents were not from Australia originally but had come to Australia seeking a different life. Families integrated while still allowing customs, language and private celebrations to exist within their family unit.

Unfortunately my ancestors for the longest time have resided in Australia so it wasn't until I moved to Europe that I could learn more about how being from another culture felt. By that, there is a term in expat literature called culture shock and I believe it can be real for most who move and travel abroad a lot. Moving to Austria things seemed the same, but below the surface there are differences. The expectations of a different society have to be learnt. I am especially proud of my kids who have adjusted into new cultures at such a young age. I am interested to see how this culture defines their lives and the choices they make.

So how does Culture effect your personal development and the goals and desires you set for yourself?  I think there is a lot at play here. Our culture from a young age defines us strongly and perhaps not every culture encourages independent thought, a free spirit and creating a life that fulfills you. For instance, when I speak to many here in Austria they find it difficult to comprehend that I studied Psychology and worked for awhile, then became a professional Opera Singer and am now a Personal Development Trainer. Three complete changes of career. Here the expectation that still pervades many parts of culture is that you do your studies and then find a job in that area. You work in the same position for many years, then retire between 60 & 65. Of course this view existed in Australia but some 15-20 years ago this started to change. Australians like to go against tradition and so things have evolved from there (thank heavens). Here in Austria though this mentality holds people back from trying new things. It holds back the desire to grow, evolve and look into new things. Most of us like permanency but in 2018 this cannot be guaranteed. We need to be flexible and consider our own development and in light of our culture.

Indeed when I decided to do Opera, my family may have considered me mad and in a way I went against cultural norms as well but the hunger and desire to give it a serious go was there and I am grateful for the way it worked out.

Change in general is hard but it can be even harder when your culture doesn't allow you to explore and develop yourself. This is where travel is an eye opening experience. Whether for a holiday or as something permanent we can use travel to open our eyes to possibilities and explore how other people live. To make observations and try without judgement to just look. Be in another's culture and understand more.

The biggest problem we often face is finding it hard to assimilate. I have found Austrian culture difficult and bureaucratic at times but I have to adapt myself. I cannot imply my culture on others. I am the odd man out. I aim by reading this book on Cultural Intelligence to open my eyes and to find better ways of living and working in this most liveable city of Vienna.

We are all at the mercy of the weather both in terms of how we get about our cities and towns but also in our mood. Many people I have taught and trained tell me they experience mood shifts and even forms of depression associated with the weather.

Being back in Austria and experiencing the heat that has been with us most of Summer from the colder but still sunny weather of Australia, I see the difference. When the air is thick with heat and you cannot escape it, it really drags you down. Sleepless nights because it is so hot, mean harder days filled with more coffee and complaining. Are you someone who is effected by the heat? What about the cold?

It was amazing to see in just two days Vienna become colder. We had rain for 24 hours and since then temperature has been 10 degrees cooler. It is welcome relief but possibly sparks the end of the Summer period.

Having lived in Australia for 35 years before coming to Europe I think spoiled me. The weather changes exist but on the whole it often feels now like there are two seasons and not four. It is warmer for more time of the year, where here in Vienna heat feels brief. I wonder if this effects people's moods. Although Vienna is now rated on all City Scales as the most liveable city in the world I wonder based on the weather if this could be. It is certainly cooler more months of the year than it is warmer.

I try not to let the weather effect me but I am certain it does. I don't see huge mood swings in myself but I know I am more comfortable in this more often colder climate. As I mentioned others who I have worked with feel really effected and this information their work, social life and general living. So what can we do?

Perhaps the best idea is to embrace it. We are not always meant to be upbeat and happy and it is worth knowing the sad times to know the good times. Each season and weather condition brings with it its own challenges. Perhaps the message here is to find the messages within ourselves and take the take to explore. If we hastily brush them off then the issue is not worked on.